Ch. 4: Bad-Mannered Subordinates

Chapter 4 suggests that one way to work effectively with different personalities is to treat everyone with respect. So how do we as leaders deal with subordinates who are perpetually rude, insensitive, and disrespectful to others?

Rude, obstinate, and disrespectful bosses are everywhere. But what if you are the boss or a leader in a group? There are no shortages of rude and insensitive individuals and every boss or leader is bound to come across an individual who lacks tact. The text discusses how various types of personalities can create environments of conflict and stress (Daft, 2018). It's important as leaders to understand our own personalities and how they are affected by others. 

I am a fan of the Myers-Briggs personality inventory to help understand myself and how I handle various types of situations, such as being a leader. For example, INFJs are often good at reading other's emotions which can help one to know when to push or even back off (Personality Growth, 2019). This is actually a helpful trait as a therapist. INFJs can also bring about change in a way with an individual that doesn't come across as harsh or demanding. I call this positive manipulation when working with my clients. These topics are usually intertwined with assertiveness training or creating boundaries with individuals. This is actually one of my favorite topics to work with clients on and one that seems to be a significant deficit for many individuals. 

When dealing with a subordinate that is surly or rude, I find my use of positive manipulation often helps a great deal in lowering their defensiveness. This also requires having the respect of the individual. In order to be a respected leader, one must give respect. There are different ways to do this, depending on the personality of the individual with which you are working. For example, if you are a young leader and you are working with an individual much older and obviously displeased to have a leader who is much younger than they are, you might try the one-down position. It is probably important to note that while I may be the leader of this individual in this setting, they may have a great deal of knowledge and expertise in some areas. Allowing them to freely express their knowledge will again lower their defenses, and can often times bring about a more positive side to an individual who up until this point has shown little tact. I would also wager that a condescending approach would all but guarantee continued rudeness.

The movie Office Space gave some great examples of leadership styles that would not work well with an individual who has a defensive personality. One was very condescending and the other was passive aggressive and cold. An effective leader tries to understand their subordinates' different personalities and their unique strengths that they can bring to the table (Daft, 2018). 

Understanding can often bring about knowledge that sometimes personality is not the most important factor. Neurodiverse brains can often be the root to a particular trait that an individual possesses. Autistic individuals can often come across as cold and blunt. When consulting with business leaders who work with the neurodiverse, my goal is to prepare them for these traits and how to manage them appropriately. With the right style and approach these individuals can often flourish and show their strengths with ease. 

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